Men are still from Mars, and women from Venus

December 11, 2017

Twenty-five years after the release of the bestseller “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”—a guide to understanding the opposite sex by John Gray, Ph.D.— the debate over how and why men and women are different and what that means for their roles in society is far from settled, based on findings of a poll released on December 5 by the Pew Research Center.

The new research, among 4,573 U.S. adults, has determined that most American men and women express their feelings differently; have disparate physical abilities, have distinct personal interests and are dissimilar in their approaches to parenting.

However, the researchers said, there is no public consensus on the origins of these differences. While women who perceive differences generally attribute them to societal expectations, men tend to point to biological differences.

The public also sees vastly different “pressure points” for men and women as they navigate their roles in society. Large majorities say men face a lot of pressure to support their family financially (76%) and to be successful in their job or career (68%); much smaller shares say women face similar pressure in these areas.

At the same time, seven-in-ten or more say women face a lot of pressure to be an involved parent (77%) and be physically attractive (71%). Far fewer say men face these types of pressures, and this is particularly the case when it comes to feeling pressure to be physically attractive: Only 27% say men face a lot of pressure in this regard.

When asked in an open-ended question what traits society values most in men and women, the differences also were striking, Pew reports. The top responses about women related to physical attractiveness (35%) or nurturing and empathy (30%). For men, one-third pointed to honesty and morality; while about one-in-five mentioned professional or financial success (23%), ambition or leadership (19%), strength or toughness (19%) and a good work ethic (18%)..

The survey also finds a sense among the public that society places a higher premium on masculinity than it does on femininity. About half (53%) say most people in our society these days look up to men who are manly or masculine; far fewer (32%) say society looks up to feminine women. Yet, women are more likely to say it’s important to them to be seen by others as womanly or feminine than men are to say they want others to see them as manly or masculine.


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